What it's Like Being a Mom

I get asked this a lot, what I like about being a mom what makes it so hard and what makes it rewarding. It's hard to give just one answer for it, as I sit in the library right now a body's length away from my kids I can think of so many. For instance my five year old, Zayden is teaching his little brother, Ryker, how to play with trains. Just sitting here watching the interaction between the two is making me remember why I do all of this. Yesterday was a really tough day for me, I spent 8 hours in the emergency room with no results of why I was sent there, I had promised my kids a trip to the park and couldn't do it because I got home around 7 which in our house is bed time. I felt like a failure and cried about it a lot, between the lack of effort the ER put into getting me healthy, the fact I've been sick for a month, and the fact I hadn't eaten at all that day adding my mommy fail to that list just made me feel like a failure. My kids didn't really care I didn't take them to the park, they still went just without me, they didn't care they didn't get tacos for dinner, my brother in law made them pizza and they had birthday cake with my sister. They were so unaffected by the fact I didn't pull through in this. They were worried about me though, my brother in law explained I had a seizure and that they didn't know what was wrong. My kids apparently asked if the family could have a group prayer, something that happens every night before bed but rarely in the middle of the day. That made my heart feel super warm and made me realize I'm doing something right. I was told my kids helped clean up after dinner and Zayden helped get Ryker and Skyler ready for bed, I asked him why he did that today and he said "Cause the family needed me" that right there is a great reason to be a mom. My kids are a lot of work, I go without sleep some nights, I don't always get to take a shower-TMI? But at the end of the day the slobbery kisses, the tight hugs, and the little "I love you"s make it all worth it. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, from laundry to endless sports practices I chose this life knowing full well that I wouldn't have spare time and as much I may feel like a failure at times my kids don't think so and that's all that really matters here.