Telling The Kids About Divorce

I have to say, growing up I never thought I would have to tell my kids about their father and I splitting up. My parents divorced when I was about four years old and thinking back, they never sat me down and told me what was happening. I simply woke up one day and they were no longer in the same house. I knew that wasn't what I wanted for my kids. Jason left and hasn't had contact with me or the kids in over a month, so it was a little easier explaining it to them. Sitting down and seeing their faces crumple was definitely not how I planned on spending my day though. I answered many questions about if we would still be a family, and the simple answer is yes. Jason may have left me, but I will never leave the kids. It was important that I reassure them all that no matter what happens, I am here for them and love them. It's something no one ever explained to me growing up, and I feel like it really effects how secure a child feels. Right now, the most important thing for me to do is make sure they all know they are loved and this divorce doesn't change that at all. We are still getting used to life without Jason in the house, it is a lot harder than I imagined it would be, but we are succeeding. I am so proud of all of our kids and the amount of stress they are able to deal with. In addition, I now have a better schedule and am able to post more often so please check back often!

Starting Over

Yes, my last post was about how I'm going to post more- oops. The passed few months have been the worst things ever for our family and I am finally ready to talk about it. A month ago my life stopped when I got a phone call from Jason. He had moved to Boston a few weeks prior and we were getting ready to move as well. He called to ask me a question I never thought I would be asked, "Are we seeing other people?", when I laughed and said "No!" he continued on and said "Oh, well I am." If you don't know me, you don't know how seriously I take cheating, but I will say it is probably one of the only reasons I would ever file for divorce, which is what I did. Little did I know that was just the beginning of a crazy rollercoaster ride. If you have been following our blog for awhile you know Jason struggles with addiction and had been clean for a year, apparently the stress of Boston got to him and he started drinking and using drugs again. Things that I made clear would not be allowed near our children again, they had been through too much last year when he did this. This just confirmed what needed to be done, I filed for divorce and cried for an entire day. My life was shattered, the world my children knew came to a stop and will never be the same again. This is not the life I wanted for my kids, but it is the life we have now. Yes, being a single mom of multiple children will be hard, but in my mind having a husband you can't trust is much harder. I would love to go back in time and stop Jason from making the choices he made, but sadly I can't. All I can do is do what is best for my children and at this point the thing that is best for them is staying away from him. I hope and pray that one day he is ready to be a dad again, because he really is an amazing dad when he wants to be, but for now I have to protect my children. They are all still in school, playing sports, and doing all the "normal" activities that they were doing before our divorce and I plan to keep it that way. These kids are my everything and I will go through hell and back before letting them give up the things they love. I am going to TRY to post more, because honestly a blog about being a single mom of multiple children doesn't exist and it needs to. I am ready to share our story and start this next chapter of my life.

We Are Back!

Wow! That was the longest break I have ever taken from this blog since starting it. We cut our Internet and Cable bills temporally while I was recovering from surgery, but I am going back to work so we got them back. I do not even know where to start when it comes to getting caught up on everything going on in our lives. I guess right now the biggest thing in our lives is looking for a house to buy. Due to a harassing landlord and me not wanting to take it anymore, honestly I just can not stand being called a hoarder-if you have seen my house you know it's far from it! We decided to start looking more seriously at buying a house, it's something we have talked about for about two years now but never wanted to take such a big step until we were finically ready. Well, sadly we have to take that step now ready or not. Buying a house is a big deal and I am so scared of taking such a big step, but when you no longer feel safe in your own home you have to do it. We have started looking at houses and cutting down our spending even further, we really want to pay off the medical bills we have before moving, but it may not happen. I get anxious at the thought of adding more debt to my already huge pile, but this seems to be my only choice right now. Wish us luck with house hunting! We will be back to our regular posting schedule now that we are up and running again!