Goodbye 2016!

I can't believe this is my last 2016 post, it's been one crazy year. This year started pretty well for our family, we adopted our little man, Ryker. I honestly couldn't imagine our life without him now that he is in our life. It's honestly like we were meant to be from day one, he is the perfect addition to our family. He has kept me sane during this crazy year, in April my life was pretty much flipped upside down. My grandma passed away and honestly it was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, yes she was old and sick, but that doesn't change the fact I lost my grandma. Losing her changed my life and I am so thankful I had her for so many years. Easter will never be the same, it was the last holiday I had the chance to spend with her. I seriously drove three hours to be with my grandma because something in me was telling me I needed to be there. I'm so glad I listened to that little voice and went down to see her, she may not have remembered who I was, but just seeing her and having the chance to tell her I love her was worth it. She will never know how much she meant to me. My kids have been my rocks this year, they have seen me cry in the middle of the sidewalk(literally!) and have been tough as nails all year. I can't wait till 2017 and hope they don't have to comfort me so much. This upcoming year I want to be a better mom for these kids, this passed year has shown me that kids need their moms no matter how old and I want my kids to have tons of memories to talk about at my funeral. I know that sounds morbid and selfish, but it's not really the point. The memories we make will live with them much longer than anything I could physically give them. They deserve so much more than I have been able to give them in 2016 and 2017 will be a better year! So, goodbye 2016-we won't miss you! PS-happy one year anniversary to the blog world! we posted our first post one year ago TODAY!

After Christmas Chaos!

Well, Christmas has come and gone. Now it's time to start cleaning up our mess from Christmas, yes it's the 28th and our house is still a mess from the gifts we opened on Saturday morning. Judge me. Jason and I have been beyond exhausted all week, he has a cold and I'm just tired from working so much. We haven't had time to make them put away their toys and yesterday when they tried to put them away we realized the organizer we had just wasn't big enough for all the junk we had. Despite getting rid of a lot before moving and right before Christmas, it still wasn't cutting it. This is what happens when you have nine kids, they each get presents from all the grandparents, Santa, aunts, uncles, cousins, and of course their parents! It adds up fast! So yesterday before dinner, we went out and bought a new organizer that is still sitting in the box downstairs because I slept in and had to work super fast to get everything I needed done, hopefully after lunch I can at least attempt to build it. My kids won't be very happy once it's built, they're going to have to clean every single toy up and make my living room look like a living room again! I am so thankful we have enough money to provide for our kids and to have this beautiful house, but right now I'm a little overwhelmed. Luckily, little to our kids knowledge, the New Years resolution we're making as a family is to spend less, which includes less on toys! Sorry kids! Wish us luck on that on, because Jason and I are known for buying things randomly.

It's never coming down!

No matter what time of the year you walk into our house, you will see a fully stocked Christmas stocking. It was hanging in our old apartment and was moved, by hand by a family member to our new house(I didn't trust the movers). People might think it's crazy, but it's a sentimental thing. That was my nephew's last Christmas stocking, he never got to open it. Santa didn't know that he was going to pass away and brought it just a week before he passed. My nephew passed away from cancer, it's a very serious thing and this stocking is a reminder that life is short. It reminds us to treat every single day like our last. Prior to the few days leading up to him passing, we thought he was going to be coming home. He was doing better, he was shooting the nurses with Nerf guns, he was playing with his siblings, he was being a little boy. There were no warning signs and according to the grief councilor we see, that is normal. It's normal for things to be super good before becoming super bad. It's sad that this disease finds it funny to mess with peoples' emotions like that, to get our hopes up so high and then just rip them to shreds. There's no other way to put it other than it sucks. It sucks to lose someone you loved more than life itself, to lose someone so young, and to think everything was going to be ok for even a short amount of time. If there's one thing his passing taught me, it's to enjoy these moments. He loved everything about life, especially the holidays. His Christmas tree is still up in his room decorated how he wanted it, in the middle of July, and his Halloween costumes are hanging up in his closet. Every holiday has become a way of remembering him and this one is the same way, we will never forget our little man and we will do all we can to celebrate life and to make it worth living because that's what he would do. We love you buddy and we hope your Christmas in Heaven is amazing.

We are so lucky

Jason and I recently helped a friend move into his first apartment. This friend has been homeless for five years, all he had were the clothes on his back and a handful of things we had given him. He moved into an empty apartment without anything of his own, but he was so happy to have a place for himself and his son. As I was helping them with everything his son was growing more and more excited for Christmas. He kept telling me that he finally had a place for Santa to come and even had a tree for him to leave presents under. The tree he was referring to actually is a big part of what made me realize how lucky I am. This tree, is about four feet tall-if that- and has next to no ornaments on it. Despite it's pitiful look, this little boy is so happy to have an actual tree for once. To see the excitement on this little guys face when he talked about this tree made me realize how good I have it. I realized at that moment that we don't need the biggest and the best, we don't need all the shiny new gadgets, we literally just need each other. I know it sounds super cheesy and stupid, but it's the truth. I am so grateful for all the things we have and I'm so glad I got to witness this awesome moment in my friend's life. We are truly blessed and I hope he continues to get all these blessings and has all the happiness in the world.

There's so many toys!

Having nine kids means nine times the amount of toys normal kids have, actually to be honest some only children have more toys than our kids but that's not the point! We have nine birthdays, nine Christmas stockings, nine EVERYTHING! Before we moved I purged so many toys, after we moved I did the same thing. We donated probably around ten bags worth of toys and clothes, but I still feel overwhelmed with the amount of toys we have. Sometimes I just want to be a minimalist and get rid of everything other than their most prized possessions, I just don't understand how some people who have way less kids can justify spending twice as much as we do on toys and such. I feel like I need someone to start shopping with me and hitting me every time I buy toys, just a little slap on the wrist to remind me our kids are fine. They don't need toys, they literally have more than enough of everything they need. As I was watching the news recently they were talking about how the Toys for Tots in my area needs donations, badly. They are more than 1,000 toys away from their goal and it made me think how lucky we are. How amazingly blessed we are to provide for our kids and meet their needs and wants. I'm hoping next Christmas we can help with Toys for Tots even more and can do better at not going overboard, I need to work on that one!

Christmas shopping for nine kids!

I have no idea how we did it, but we ended up finishing Christmas shopping for all nine(plus our friends son) for under $1,000 in all. It honestly looks like we spent A LOT more, the gifts are overflowing and it's kind of been crazy trying to wrap them all and making sure they were all evenly bought for. Pretty much the moment January hits we start shopping for birthdays and Easter because we have five million kids. It's kind of funny to be buying our kids in August their birthday gifts that early, but when we find a good deal we tend to eat it up. After August we normally start Christmas shopping, literally the moment Estella's birthday is over we go and get our list for Christmas. It helps that around this time Toys R Us starts their free layaway so were able to get pretty much everything we need. Once we start buying for Christmas we keep probably the most detailed list in the world, I put what we bought, how much it cost, have a section for each kid, and I keep it even! We spend the same amount on each kid and try really hard to make all the piles the same size. I will admit this year, Skyler's pile is a little smaller than the others, but she hasn't really grasped opening gifts yet and she tends to steal other peoples' presents anyway so her's is smaller. We make sure every single thing is accounted for and that we didn't spend too much money. One of the major ways we have saved money of Christmas shopping was by shopping used, there is no need for us to spend tons of money on a toy that they're going to beat up or possibly not even play with much. There have been so many times we have found almost new toys at a thrift store for more than half the price, our kids totally get that they can't have all new things and we love that. Hopefully I can make it another week without buying anything else, then I can honestly say we didn't go overboard this year! Merry Christmas everyone!

Blending traditions

It's crazy to think this is our second Christmas as a blended family. Last year was a pretty interesting one, mainly because we all got food poising from something we ate and ended up puking all Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. It really was a fun time, but putting that aside we started a few Christmas traditions we really loved. Of course we did keep some that Jason and I had as children, but it was kind of hard blending all of them. I never really realized how many traditions my family had even the little things that may seem stupid to other people, like needing to have spaghetti for dinner on Christmas Eve or getting pajamas for our first gift every year. It was those little things that made us question, what traditions should we keep? Since Jason is Italian he had no issue eating spaghetti for dinner, however for the first gift we kind of butted heads. Jason's birthday is Christmas day, his family has always gone above and beyond with making sure it was HIS day. This included opening gifts(all of them!) on Christmas Eve. Last year we did it that way and we'll be doing it that way again this year since I have to work, but I will get my way one year! We decided to ditch most of our old traditions and start mostly new ones, except the major traditions like leaving Santa cookies and getting a new ornament every year. However we do have a bit of a spin on all of the traditions we have since we have five million kids. Growing up my brother and I each left a cookie for Santa, well Santa can't eat ten cookies at once. This is why we decided to leave Santa some other things as well. In our house he kind of gets spoiled, he gets a full meal and chap-stick(because it's cold and his lips get chapped!). It's adorable watching them decided what Santa should eat that day and hearing them talk about what book and movie he will be bringing them. Our kids know our traditions and they also know we're still figuring out our traditions! So they put up with our craziness, hopefully next year we have our traditions locked in and we can actually classify them as "traditions". Do you guys have any fun traditions? Let us know, maybe we'll adopt them!

Keeping Christ in Christmas

I can't believe Christmas will be here in less than two weeks! I feel like it was just Thanksgiving, I'm not sure if I'm mentally prepared for this. Christmas is such a magical time of the year, it's also the time of the year I find myself trying to help anyone we can. This year however was even more exciting, we decided to get our kids involved. We wanted to make sure that they were very well aware that Christmas isn't about them and what they want. We wanted them to know the true meaning of Christmas. First we made sure to tell them WHY we have this holiday, we went over the birth of Jesus and talk about how he gave so much for us and we should give to honor him. We got them as involved as possible and had them choose what we did this year and I'm beyond proud of all the ways they have chose to give. There's something really awesome about teaching your kids to give, it's a really cool feeling. I love the fact our kids have started praying for the kids they're buying gifts for, the prayer they said over the baby items we bought for a newborn baby off the Angel Tree really made my heart grow five sizes. The amount of pride I have for my children right now can't even be described with words. They realize that Christmas isn't about them and it's about something so much more, I hope they continue to be giving and caring and always, keep the Christ in Christmas.

Do we do Santa?

I'm not sure why this is such a popular question we get, but we get it so often that I'm just making a post to get it out there. Yes, our kids believe in Santa. The follow up question we get-why?! Why do we let our kids believe that a man gives them gifts they want when we have so many kids? It's not really about the size of our family really, we just want them to have the opportunities that all the other kids their age get. This includes, Santa. I'm going to be honest, before Brooke was born her dad and I discussed telling them there was no Santa, being honest from day one. As time went on however and she started to get it, we realized she kind of came up with the Santa idea on her own. As time went on and I met Jason and our families became one, we decided to let them believe in Santa. It was something we really enjoyed as children and they weren't being harmed in it. We have told our kids many times that Santa is more of a feeling than anything else and explained he can't always bring what you want. That brings us to the next question, how do we afford it? We shop literally from January 1st until December 24th, we shop thrift stores, clearance, and use layaway. As we were looking at all the stuff we got our kids, because we apparently like going overboard, we were also wondering how we afforded it. I guess our shopping strategy is working out better than we thought because our savings account we made for Christmas still has money in it. So long story short, our kids know what Santa is about, they know the true meaning of Christmas, and we will allow them to believe until they stop and really hope that it's a long time away.

Happy birthday Ryker!

If you haven't caught on yet, Ryker and I share a birthday. I am so blessed to have such a handsome little guy to share my birthday with and couldn't imagine sharing it with anyone else. Today that little guy turns two and I honestly can't believe it. One year ago my sisters told me that our adoption for a little boy was being finalized. They surprised me with toys and clothes for him and we got everything ready for his arrival. I can't believe it's been that long already, it's been almost a year since the social worker handed me a crying scared little boy. It's been a year since he went by "Jack" and a year of realizing it's okay to let people love you. His whole life was flipped upside down a year ago and he's doing amazingly well. This little man is truly one of my favorite people, not just because he's my kid. He's funny, adorable, and never gives up. Watching him take on so many obstacles has made me realize how easy I have had it. I have had a loving family from day one, he was over one when he finally got it. It doesn't show now, but just thinking about where he would be if Jason didn't say "yes" makes me so grateful that we were blessed with our little man. I'm not sure what we would do without his adorable little face lighting up when he sees a "gawbag uck"(garbage truck) or when he finds a Paw Patrol toy. He's just so amazed by everything and it's beyond adorable. I hope he knows how much he mean to us and that he truly was meant to be in our family from day one. Ryker Lucas, thank you for being the amazing little boy you are and I can't wait to see where life takes you. Happy birthday buddy!

Happy Birthday Jess!

I'm stealing the blog from Jess for the day, she thinks I'm writing something about Christmas. Yes, I lied to my wife. Oh well, she'll live. Thursday is Jess's 22nd birthday and to me it's crazy to think that she's that old(I'm kidding babe please don't kill me) I honestly don't know how I got so lucky, she is an amazing mom to not just her kids, but mine as well and it's been that way since the moment we met. She always puts everyone before herself and never complains about how much work she has to do, even though she has every right to complain. There's something awesome about having a wife who will always call you on your crap, who will make sure you're being the best you that you can be, and will always be there for you. There's not a moment that goes by when I don't thank God for this amazing woman. Even though sometimes I want to murder her, like when she sweetly sent me a text yesterday that started with "I love you..." and I knew she did something, I overlooked the fact she signed me up for Amazon Prime and decided it was an okay thing, even though it's really expensive and we really don't use Amazon much. I just had to remind myself that she's the one who has to take care of the kids during the harder parts of the day, I seriously just make breakfast and yell at them to get dressed then come home and make dinner and get them ready for bed. She has the harder part, she does the school work, gets them to and from practices, she gets lunch for them, makes sure they don't kill each other. I honestly would never be able to do what she does and I am so freaking lucky to have her. So, Jess, happy 22nd birthday. I love you and I'm beyond grateful for you.

Where have we been?!

Well a good hello! I feel like it's been ages since I last posted, probably because it has. We have had a pretty hectic last week and a half. I somehow managed to get an infected ingrown toe nail, the infection decided to spread to my blood stream and I've just been feeling super crummy lately. I am seriously writing this from the ER, where we are again trying for another antibiotic. Yup, it's been a fun time for us! I am really hoping this is a quick trip and they figure it out and send us on our way. I really honestly don't have time to be sick, my son turns two on Thursday and I am determined to throw an awesome birthday party this weekend. On a happier note, we are officially done Christmas shopping, by that I mean we have more than enough purchased, but I seem to keep finding more to buy. Oh Christmas time, what would retail do without people like myself who love spoiling their kids? Anyway, I'm hoping this crummy start to the month means that it can only get better from here! Wish us luck as we continue this fun little adventure with my toe drama! Love you guys!