The Hardest Gift I Ever Made!

This Christmas is super hard for us, we have almost no money to spend on Christmas gifts for each other. Jason and I decided we would make each other gifts instead. It's funny that we thought of this because neither of us are very artistic, but we're going with it! I decided for part of his gift I would list 365 reasons why I love him. Sounds easy right? Well apparently it's not. I needed 365 DIFFERENT reasons of why I love this guy. I easily made it up to 100 with no problems and then all of the ones I tried using were pretty much the same, so I had to get creative. I was literally texting everyone who knows us asking them why they love Jason hoping that it would help me get my list to be longer. Unfortunately, most of them love him for the same reasons-shout of to Taylor for saying his smell so I could add something! Now here we are three days away from Christmas and I still don't have anything more to write. I searched for other lists people have done and realized most of them totally cheated and listed the same thing several times just phrased a little differently. Those sneaky people trying to pull a fast one over on us. I refuse to cave to such a low level as to list the same thing multiple times so I will continue to wrack my brain until I finally reach 365. I am glad to know I'm not the only person who has trouble with coming up with this many reasons, because when Jason heard what I was doing he said "That's easy! I could do 1,000 for you!". We shall see on Christmas if it's true that he was able to come up with that many reasons and if he was and they are all different I will be very impressed. I applaud anyone who makes their significant other a gift every year without wanting to murder them. This process has been long, hard, and emotional. Although it has been the hardest thing I've ever made, it's kind of the coolest. I feel like when you're with someone for a long time you sometimes forget all the little reasons you fell in love to began with. This has served as a nice reminder that I fell in love with a really amazing guy. So, at least if nothing else I have that to run with. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and have an easier time listing reasons you love someone if you ever try to do so.

Our Four Gift Christmas

Before I get started, if you haven't already go check out of Youtube video "What I got my kids for Christmas 2017" to see their entire lot of Christmas gifts this year. If you follow me on any social media site, you already know every year I have an overflowing Christmas tree that flows from our dining room into our living room. After buying all those toys last year and then buying storage for those toys, I decided we were done. I no longer wanted to spend days upon days getting upset about where we would put everything when Christmas day was done. This year we decided to adopt the four gift Christmas method, I'm not sure if that's what it's called but we're going with it. We did one want, one need, one thing to wear, and one thing to read. The want is their Santa gift, this gift could be just about any price and it is the big sought after gift they've mostly wanted all year. This varies depending on the child, but for the most part their gifts ranged around $20. Their need gift was kept the same across the board because they all needed the same thing-a tooth brush-I know it sounds lame, but when you're on a budget as tight as we are week to week you need to cut costs where you can. We tried to make their need gift as exciting as possible, but with tooth brushes it is a little hard. Hopefully we somewhat succeed in this. As for the one thing to wear, we barely need clothes. When our kids need clothes we buy them, so there wasn't a huge need for us to purchase all new clothes for them. If they didn't need clothes we got them something else instead that they did need. The one thing to read was the most exciting part for me, my kids-with the exception of Tyson-LOVE reading. We were able to find a lot of good deals on books and I bought up as many as I could. This was the least stressful our Christmas shopping has ever been and I'm so happy about that. Instead of trying to get the best deals on various things my time has been spent at home with my kids, playing, crafting, eating, watching movies-whatever they want. I have been told by a few people that my kids will be disappointed on Christmas day from only getting four gifts, but I don't think that's true. We have talked to our kids about spending less and they looked under the tree today which doesn't even include Santa gifts. When they looked under there I heard Estella say "Wow! We are getting a lot on a budget! There's already a lot under here!" I am so glad they feel that way it just goes to show it's all about expectations and how you raise them. I have a feeling, our four gift Christmas is going to be the best one yet.

Why we celebrate Hanukkah

For those of you who do not know this, Jason and I are not Jewish. With that being said, we celebrate Hanukkah. Not because we want to be disrespectful, but because of Jason's first wife. She was Jewish until the day she passed away. His kids used to go over to her parents every year and celebrate with them, but after we petitioned for me to be allowed to adopt them they stopped all contact with the kids. It was honestly more heartbreaking for us than anything, especially considering I was just doing what their daughter had asked. That's a whole other story though! The point is when we heard they didn't want them for Hanukkah this year we told the kids we would celebrate it! Now, how do two Christian people celebrate something like this? We googled it. Seriously I was up until around 2 am trying to figure out what is socially acceptable to do for Hanukkah and it turns out it's a lot like Christmas. By that I mean, no two traditions were the same, but they all had the same intent. Since this is our first year celebrating we wanted to make sure all nine children knew the history behind this holiday, much like Christmas we were able to find several Hanukkah books targeted at children. We have been reading one everyday and enjoying the knowledge we are gain. Even though only half of our nine children are part Jewish we felt it was important to celebrate as a family, but didn't want to get gifts every single night. We decided to just have eight nines of family nights and to incorporate what their mom had always done-bake a different cookie every single night. My intent when marrying Jason was not to replace their mom and I don't want to take away any of the few memories they have with her so it was important to me to know what her traditions were. She never once bought her kids gifts for Hanukkah, instead she had no phone nights where she spent the time instead with her children doing crafts, playing games, watching family movies, or doing anything else her children wanted to do. We adopted that tradition and the family favorite tradition of having a party on the last night. This may be my first year doing this, but I wanted to do it right. This is a very special holiday especially for our four children who think of it as one of the only things they have left of their mom. Overtime some of the traditions may change, but I know they will remember how hard their dad and I worked to make sure they had these memories. To all of my Jewish followers, happy Hanukkah.

Thank you Jimmy Kimmel!

Jimmy Kimmel, you may never seen this blog post, but I want to thank you. Thank you for speaking up for all the parents like myself who are worrying if their kids insurance will be cut off. My daughter Brooke was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes two years ago and her coverage has been under CHIP since then. When we got the news that Brooke could very well lose her coverage we were devastated, were and still are wondering how we will pay for the medication that she must have in order to survive. I know first hand how hard it is to see your kid go through so many different surgeries, injections, and medical tests, but Jimmy your son Billy was born for a reason. I think it's safe to say you already realized this, but you are in such an amazing position where you are able to advocate for the thousands of children who are affected by this terrible decision. I am so thankful that you have used your position to do good. You realize that you are able to afford health care, but know many are not. This is a hard thing to grasp and I'm glad you speak so openly about this. I also know you have received a lot of backlash from people telling you to stay out of it, I am so proud of the fact you ignore them and continue to speak out about this pressing issue. The people hating on you have been very lucky and clearly have never had to choose between paying their bills or paying for a life saving medication for their child. Thank you Jimmy from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do. I pray that one day we live in a country where I don't have to make this decision and because of people like you, that dream may one day be a reality. Please continue to speak out, give updates on Billy, and be the amazing advocate for affordable health care that you are.

Am I going crazy?!

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real you had a hard time realizing it's not real? That was me this morning. I had a dream about a missionary we had come to know and love a few years ago when I was less active than I am now. This missionary's name however escaped our minds completely and we only remembered what he looked like and when he was here. In my dream I vividly remember finding him after checking my son, Tyson's phone(yes he has a phone not the point). So I was like "well that's a cool idea since it is my old phone it might have his name on it." So, I went ahead and checked with no such luck. I tried to go back to bed and this little voice kept saying "Look on Tyson's phone" I told the voice I'd check it again in the morning and I felt like I lost control of my body because I got up and looked at his phone again. Still, I found nothing, but decided at this point God was trying to tell me something so I went online to see if I could find him on the Alumni site. Keep in mind all I'm going off of was what he looked like. I didn't find him on any of the sites, there weren't even any Elders on the alumni lists from the times we needed. So, I took it to Mormon moms group on Facebook. My sister in law posted for me since I don't use Facebook, but she explained the situation and told them what he looked like. I will say, I was a little shocked when she texted me not even 15 minutes later and said "His name is Tyson ***"(I'm not saying the last name for privacy). When she said Tyson I realized that God telling me to check Tyson's phone was probably his way of answering my prayer of asking what this missionaries name was. After nearly three years of wondering what this kid's name was, I finally got my answer. I feel pretty accomplished today since I was able to check this off my list and I now know to listen carefully when God is talking. He often times masks his signs in something and that's what I was struggling with, but finally am starting to understand how this all works.

It's a pain in the foot!(literally!)

Months ago I posted about killing my ankle, apparently that was the right term for it. Despite the fact it has been several months now and I have done PT, taken the medicine prescribed, and everything else I was told to do-it is still injured. We went to the doctors today and he told me I need surgery, which is fine I expected that. What I did not expect was for him to add "but you have too many medical issues so I'm not going to do it. If you want surgery you need a second opinion." What. The. Heck. Who tells someone they can't walk until they get surgery then adds they can't do the surgery? On one hand, I understand where he's coming from there is a risk because of having a compromised immune system, but at the same time I can't walk. If I can't walk, I am not able to work in my current job. Needless to say, we are getting a second opinion-tomorrow afternoon-we did not waste time getting that! I am hoping and praying that this doctor is a little braver and realizes that I don't actually want the surgery, I need it. Every single year without fail I tear my ligament the same one every year, the doctor even said that it's not healthy to do. I can't live with just tearing it every single time I walk which is the point we have reached. So please, say a little prayer tonight that the doctor I see tomorrow is understanding and willing to take a risk.

Is She Starting Puberty Blockers?!

You all know, or should know, that the main reason we started this blog is because of our daughter Callie. Callie was diagnosed(for lack of a better word), as being transgender and ever since we have been trying to raise awareness about raising a child who is transgender. When she was originally diagnosed we were searching for answers of what the heck we were supposed to do and at the time there was hardly any answers! It is crazy to think in just two years the transgender community has exploded and we have had so much research and advocacy done for us. Anyway, back to my point, between the ages of 8 and 12 doctors like to start puberty blockers in transgender patients. My ex and I honestly forgot that this was even on our radar until the doctor called to set up an appointment to start talking about how we want to go about it. We went to the appointment last week and we talked about all the different options, by all I mean two. We could either inject her or get an implant. Callie was with us as this will really be her decision and she knows she has two years to decide. I know it's crazy to put this on our six year old, but she actually knows more about what's going on then I feel like I do. We were able to talk to a few different transgender people who have already gone through this, so she feels pretty confident in her choice. She told us both she really wants the implant because "Injections sound terrible". I'm not going to argue with that, it's pretty solid reasoning in my opinion. After we started talking about everything we decided to talk about the money part of it, Callie was not included in this conversation. Jason, my ex, my ex's girlfriend, and myself decided this is obviously something that needs to be done. Let's face it, if we forced this little girl to go through male puberty and expect her to be ok with it. This is not something that insurance covers(Thanks Trump for voting that down!), so we have to pay 100% out of pocket. Regardless of the price, it will be beyond worth it to know she is one step closer to becoming a girl. She actually left the doctors appointment very happy and told me she was so excited to "officially be a girl!". That little comment alone made me know we were doing the right thing, this is the right step for our child. I don't know how we will be paying for it, but we will find away and make her dreams come true.

Happy 3rd Birthday Ryker!

Ryker will be three tomorrow, I can not believe it. This little boy has grown so much in the past two years of being in our family. Honestly sometimes when I think about it I can barely believe he is the same child. I feel like keeping this more positive so I'm not going to post all the negative things that went on through his life. Ryker is such an easy going child, he will pretty much just go with whatever is going on. When the other kids are excited, he is too. His favorite things right now are Paw Patrol, PJ Masks, Ninja Turtles, and yes he is still obsessed with garbage trucks. Every Thursday he runs out and waits for the garbage men to come visit, it's gotten to the point that the garbage men give him high fives when they see him. He honestly feels like the coolest kid ever when this happens and I think garbage men deserve major props for that. This child has become a bit of a social butterfly, we have actually gotten reports from preschool that say he talks when he's not supposed to, but honestly a few years ago we thought he would never talk so even though I don't want him talking all the time it's ok. I honestly think he might be his siblings favorite because anytime I ask them to help out with the little ones, they all volunteer to help him! I think part of that goes along with him being so easy going and willing to just wear whatever they hand him and eat whatever they tell him to eat. Right now his goal in life is to be a garbage truck, yup not the man who drives it, but the truck! As a parent, I support that as I always have and always will. Ryker Lucas, we all love you so much and are so proud of you and I hope three is the best year yet!

How Does This Keep Happening?!

If you've read our blog for any amount of time you've been there for our whole minimalist journey. When we started this journey every inch of our four bedroom two bathroom house was packed full with random stuff we didn't need! Flash forward to now, it seems to be a little bit better until entering a bedroom. Our kids seem to still be getting so much regardless of how hard we have tried to purge of items and buy less. It just seems never ending. Today our kidness elf asked us to clean out some old clothes, so we did. We started with the older girls because every time I opened their closet clothes fell out and it was getting a little crazy. So I sat down and went through all five million pieces and threw some up on Craigslist because face it, we need money. It doesn't look much better to be honest, but I know how much better it is. It was kind of an eye opening moment because I realized how much wasted money was in there, a lot of their clothes were only worn once some not at all. I am hoping this little moment will keep me from buying things because I can. This was just further proof that minimalism isn't just something you do over night, it is a life long journey that will never actually be over. This is something I truly want for our family so this long journey is well worth it. Here's to just another page in our amazing story to getting to life we really want.

Our Favorite Christmas Movies!(Netflix and Amazon Video addition)

Let me warn you before reading this, I love Christmas and if I was allowed I would watch Christmas movies all year round. With that being said, they never let me do that. So when it comes time to watch them I go a little crazy and want to watch as many as possible in the short amount of time my family finds appropriate for Christmas movies. I was a little surprised with just how many options Netflix had online for Christmas movies and some are my favorites. I know it can be a little overwhelming trying to find a movie online so I thought I'd take a few moments to tell you what our family favorite movies are. The first movie we knew we HAD to watch the moment we saw it on Netflix was "Santa Paws" this is honestly one of the cutest Christmas movies out there. My kids really love the whole concept of this movie, I mean it's Santa and a puppy and there is singing along with a bunch of kids. It is perfect for the entire family, our two years old love it as well as our seven year olds. Another favorite is a classic, "Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas". All of the versions of this are on there, but my kids aren't really interested in any of them other than the original. Again, this was a no brainer because it's Disney and there is very little Disney can do for me not to like. One movie that our kids are still a little too young for, but Jason LOVES is Jim Carrey's version of "The Grinch". We attempted this one with our kids, our seven years old liked it but most were too young for it and found it scary. Looking back I can see how this movie is scary, but if you have older children this one is amazing. After watching several movies on Netflix we decided to switch over to Amazon, you do need an AmazonPrime account for this, but I will tell you it is worth it. They have so many more classics on there and some that I had never seen. One that was so sweet and I had never seen before is "I want a dog for Christmas Charlie Brown". Let's face it no Charlie Brown movie will ever not be good, it's just not possible for the Peanuts gang. But, the number one Christmas movie in this house(voted by everyone but me!) is to just watch all of the "Doctor Who Christmas Specials" which is apparently included in our membership, but I have yet to see it. My favorite movie is no longer on Amazon but if you get the chance to watch it-you should "Arthur's Perfect Christmas". This movie taught me so much about different holidays at such a young age and also taught me it's ok to make your own version of a perfect Christmas. Regardless of what movie is your favorite, both of these services have helped our Christmas so much already! If you have a favorite Christmas movie let us know in the comments!

Christmas Traditions on a Budget!

This Christmas is definitely different from ones in the past. Normally both Jason and I are working and we can afford all kinds of fun things, this year however we are down to one income. That means the gifts are scaled back and some of our traditions need adjusted a little. It's kind of funny, when people hear we are on a $100 budget for nine kids they are shocked and say how much our kids are going to hate their Christmas. So far however, they seem perfectly fine knowing Santa is only going to bring ONE gift per kid and mom and dad are getting some modestly priced gifts. I do want to say, if you ever want your kids to be quiet for a while tell them Santa can only bring one gift they will spend a lot of time thinking about what they truly want. There are so many traditions we had to adjust because of money issues, the first being ornaments. When Jason and I got engaged we made a decision to make a different ornament with the kids every year, normally we buy an entire set and go from there. This year we decided to adjust that and use only what we have around the house. Our kids have two modes when it comes to crafts, they either get super creative or hate it and just do it to please me so we will see what they come up with this year! The second tradition we decided to start this year was reading a Christmas book everyday until Christmas. I will be honest, this one is more for me than the kids. Our library has a lot of Christmas books, so many that I thought my backpack might burst while I stuffed them in there. This little tradition was found on Pinterest, it was suggested to wrap them, but that seemed like a lot of wasted wrapping paper and I don't have money to replace it. So far we have loved the books we've read, we may or may not have started this one before Thanksgiving. Another tradition that we wanted to start because it's free and fun is look at Christmas lights. I know it's stupid we haven't done this before, but we don't normally have time-this year we do and I want to enjoy it. There is actually a house in our area that does a really cool light show that I went to once with my younger cousin and want to send Jason with the kids, it has strobe lights this year so I can't go sadly. Regardless it sounds like a fun thing for them to do and I'm hoping they enjoy it. The last tradition that we actually ended up getting rid of is matching Christmas pajamas. I almost cried when we made this decision, but in the end their just pajamas. On Black Friday I tried very hard to find ones that were in budget so hopefully I could convince Jason we needed them, I had no such luck. Because our kids didn't NEED pajamas we agreed that spending money on them wouldn't be a good idea. So, I'm hoping none of our children were waiting patiently for new pajamas. Our traditions may change over time, but the reason we celebrate will always be the same. At the end of the day Christmas is about Jesus and nothing else.

Our Kindness Elf is back!

Every Christmas season parents all over the world bring out their "Elf on the Shelf", we didn't like the idea of a crazy little elf making a mess so in true Butler fashion we put our own spin on it. We started this I believe two years ago where we take a cheap little elf I found at dollar tree and assign different acts of kindness for the kids to do throughout the month. Much like the Elf on the Shelf, he moves nightly and is always in a different spot when our kids wake up. It's honestly a fun little hunt to find him every morning and I'm really glad they're enjoying it. This month we of course have 25 different acts for our kids to do and I'll be sharing them more on Instagram, but because I know I had to use Pinterest for my ideas I'm going to post the entire list here.

These aren't all going to happen on the exact days listed, the first one was actually switched with the second one when I realized we had no cookie fixings. Regardless of the order they happen, it's about the purpose. We wanted, especially this year, to keep the focus on Christ and have fun while doing it. I know it can be hard sometimes to be in the holiday spirit when you don't have money, but in the end that's not what Christmas is about. Christmas can be magical even if you only have $5 to spend or if you have $5,000 to spend. There's no minimum required to celebrate Christmas and that's the bet part of this holiday. The same applies for doing good deeds, it doesn't have to cost a lot, a lot of the things on this list are free or could be done for very little.

We're back for Blogmas!

Hello friends, I have missed you all so much! I have been so busy with school, work, kids, cleaning, and my new church calling. It has been crazy, but I love it. As I was watching Youtube I realized everyone is doing "Vlogmas" and I thought to myself "I should do a blogging version of that". Because I haven't posted in over a month I have a lot to say and am excited to finally type up all I possibly can. We will be doing several different kinds of posts this month that relate to everything going on, so be ready for a lot of Christmas on a budget posts! A lot has happened in the last few months and it's time we tell our blog family about the craziness that has been happening around here. I hope you're ready, because it's going to be awesome.