Starting Over

Yes, my last post was about how I'm going to post more- oops. The passed few months have been the worst things ever for our family and I am finally ready to talk about it. A month ago my life stopped when I got a phone call from Jason. He had moved to Boston a few weeks prior and we were getting ready to move as well. He called to ask me a question I never thought I would be asked, "Are we seeing other people?", when I laughed and said "No!" he continued on and said "Oh, well I am." If you don't know me, you don't know how seriously I take cheating, but I will say it is probably one of the only reasons I would ever file for divorce, which is what I did. Little did I know that was just the beginning of a crazy rollercoaster ride. If you have been following our blog for awhile you know Jason struggles with addiction and had been clean for a year, apparently the stress of Boston got to him and he started drinking and using drugs again. Things that I made clear would not be allowed near our children again, they had been through too much last year when he did this. This just confirmed what needed to be done, I filed for divorce and cried for an entire day. My life was shattered, the world my children knew came to a stop and will never be the same again. This is not the life I wanted for my kids, but it is the life we have now. Yes, being a single mom of multiple children will be hard, but in my mind having a husband you can't trust is much harder. I would love to go back in time and stop Jason from making the choices he made, but sadly I can't. All I can do is do what is best for my children and at this point the thing that is best for them is staying away from him. I hope and pray that one day he is ready to be a dad again, because he really is an amazing dad when he wants to be, but for now I have to protect my children. They are all still in school, playing sports, and doing all the "normal" activities that they were doing before our divorce and I plan to keep it that way. These kids are my everything and I will go through hell and back before letting them give up the things they love. I am going to TRY to post more, because honestly a blog about being a single mom of multiple children doesn't exist and it needs to. I am ready to share our story and start this next chapter of my life.