What to expect when fostering

You can read as many books as you want, nothing prepares you for the real deal like actually fostering. Don't get me wrong, the books were beyond informative and told me what classes needed taken, what I should buy, and some other helpful tips. What they didn't tell me is that I should be prepared for anything, which I guess is common sense but I lack common sense and so does my husband. I wish someone would have told me to expect the first few months to be "the adjustment" stage where we just awkwardly all stare at each other and we try to love them without overwhelming them something that was a major struggle in the beginning. One thing my husband noticed well before I did is that the kids will warm up to when they all decided it's time-mainly waiting on the oldest to give them the go ahead. We also quickly realized our oldest was the mom figure. She didn't know how to be a kid, at five years old she was making breakfast, helping the younger ones get ready for school, and everything else that we were supposed to be doing and desperately wanted to do. We decided the first week to just let her do it, but help without her noticing. If she was making cereal we got the dishes ready for her and washed them when they were all done. If she was getting the baby ready for the day we had diapers ready for her. This made her realize that someone was ready to take care of her when she felt it was fit. Luckily she slowly, but surely fell into the groove of letting us take care of her even though her mom instinct still pokes through from time to time. I never realized how much a persons life can effect them as a person even at such a young age, I figured it was something that came with time. I didn't realize that I would have to teach my kids to be kids. The books never prepared me for this. The other thing books never prepared me for but I wish they had was kids being afraid I'd get rid of them. Our son, who was three when he got placed with us, knocked over a ceramic something or other that someone had made us-clearly it was super important because I can't remember what it was-and he ran to his room and hid under his bed. He was afraid we were going to send him away for breaking it. We quickly told him we weren't planning on sending him away, cuddled him for a little bit, then told him to help us clean up the mess. This wasn't the first or last time any of the kids thought they would be sent away for doing something bad, but it's the time that has stayed with me the most for whatever reason. If you plan on fostering, please make sure the kids know that they are staying with you for however long they need to. Make sure they know you care and that you're there for them in anyway you can be.